Reflection

Some thoughts as we journey forth...

God All Sufficient

Oh Lord of grace,
The world is before me this day
And I am weak and fearful but I look to thee for strength
God all sufficient, God all sufficient

If I venture forth alone
I stumble and I fall
But on the beloved’s arm, I’m a tree standing tall
God all sufficient, God all sufficient

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Be thou my strength to stand
Be my light to see
My feet to run, my sword to fight
My shield protecting me
God all sufficient

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Lyrics by Christine Dente

Just when I thought it was better...

Well, I thought the nausea had passed. The teariness, too.

Then today my seven year-old's teacher asked me if she was okay when she came home yesterday. I said she was and asked what happened. Yesterday in music she was sobbing and told her teacher about our decision.

Now the nausea is back - with a vengeance. I know my little girl is a drama queen, but this still hits hard. Really hard.

Aftermath

The past 3 days have been spent vacillating between the desire to cry and the desire to vomit. I feel weak, empty, spent. Prayers are greatly appreciated at this time.

Decisions

Why is it that decisions are so hard to make? You know the reasons, you can talk and rationalize, but when the time comes your resolve falters.

Your heart breaks.

You begin to second-guess and doubt what was so clear before. You know what is best for your family, but you think about others and how your decision affects them.

And you cry.

And you pray.

And you fear. Fear for those left behind. Fear for yourself. Fear the unknown.

And yet, in spite of the fear, there is hope. Hope for what might be. Hope for new life. Hope that the dry, brittle remnant of your soul can be watered.

Renewed.

Restored.

Hope that the tears will cease. Hope that the heart will mend. Hope for joy. And so, with timid steps, you go forward. Praying for guidance. And direction.

I pray these words as we start on this new journey.

Voyage

Oh Lord of the Air
My little plane flies on a restless wind
Grant that Jesus may be
At the wheel to guide me safely in
Let no current divert me
Nor my faith be wrecked with turbulence
Bring me to the gate unscathed

This voyage is long
And the stormy clouds are pitiless
But your word is secure
Grant me grace to fear a little less
For your haven is guaranteed

Each day will bring me nearer home
Your peace just like a river flows
Pour your oil upon my troubled skies
Convert my every care to prayer
Convince my heart you’re really there
And may the world this day be glad that I’m alive

Oh Lord of the air
Thy cross will be upon my radar screen
Though this voyage is long
I will fly this night with hope unseen
Next day will bring me nearer home
Your peace just like a river flows
Pour your oil upon my troubled skies

Convert my every care to prayer
Convince my heart you’re really there
And may the world this day be glad that I'm alive

I’m alive

Oh Lord of the air
My little plane flies on a restless wind
Grant that Jesus may be
At the wheel to guide me safely in
Til I reach the place of endless praise