Overheard...

In my car CD player there is a song with the lyrics "I was speeding down the subway...". After hearing this, A told me, "He just said he was speeding to get to Subway!"

Gotta love those $5 foot longs!

'Nuff said

Just what I've always wanted!

Does anyone else find this as funny as I do? Place your vote on the right!

Art, Schmart!

This week is staff appreciation at N's school. I, being co-chair of the Staff Appreciation Committee, am co-coordinating Wednesday's Italian-themed luncheon. (That's a lot of co-ing...) My partner in crime for said meal is Natalie, a fantastic lady who has recently come to our school. As we have discovered, Italy is a little harder to decorate for than, say, Mexico, especially considering that today is Cinco de Mayo and all the stores are teeming with cute party favors. Part of what we decided to do was to get some pictures/clip art, project them on the wall and trace a large "abstract" version to put on the wall. We decided on the leaning tower of Pisa, the coliseum, and Michelangelo's David sculpture. As I was scouring the internet for these items, I came across the above picture. Well, the above picture without my tasteful editing. Um, I guess that by going to a Christian high school I must have only seen waist-up pictures of our boy there. I was, uh, amazed by the level of detail in the sculpture. Indeed, some hilarious reference was made regarding the "cauliflower". Yeah. When we projected the image on the wall, he was tall enough that we had to do it in 2 sections. As I was tracing Mr. David's lower half, his...manhood...was inches from my face. I know that this is a feeble attempt to convey the hilarity of the situation, but let's just say Natalie and I were about to bust a gut from laughing! That and we were quite concerned that someone, say, the principal (or worse - a student!), would discover us in a dark room with a naked man projected on the wall with his jewels inches from our faces.

The things I do for my kids...


***edit***
I realize that some of you may be wondering why we would trace a naked man to display in the teacher's lounge. Our theme for the week is a cruise around the world, so we made a cruise-ship shaped modesty patch to cover his "parts". And no, we didn't trace any of those parts!!

Well, at least she was close...

Audrey: Mocha, do you know about your vines?

Mocha (my mom): Vines?

Audrey: Yes, Mocha. The vines in your body?

Mocha: What vines in your body?

Audrey: You know - the vines that carry your blood?

Mocha: Oh - you mean veins?

Audrey: Yeah, veins.

snow day

snow day
Originally uploaded by jen_lancaster

Oh my! I have been a rather naughty blogger. Nothing too exciting to report. Or maybe it's just me - feeling sort of blah. I'm thinking of revamping the morning routine for the kids next year. I'm trying to escape that hell known as breakfast-with-a-five-year-old-daughter. And the other hell known as trying-to-get-an-easily-distracted-seven-year-old-boy-dressed. About this time of year you should all avoid my house before school. Avoid it like the plague. If not, you're apt to see smoke coming out of my ears and my head spinning completely around, a la The Exorcist. (Well, I think that's the movie. I've never actually seen it. I did see the first Scream movie, and that confirmed my extreme loathing of the genre. But I digress...) Next year we will try getting up, brushing teeth, getting dressed, then eating. Because they can go to school hungry if it is their fault for goofing off or REFUSING TO EAT THEIR WAFFLE BECAUSE IT WAS CUT THE WRONG WAY!!!!!!!!! (yes, this happened last week), but they can't go to school in their jammies. Sorry - had to vent there. This year the routing is get up, eat, brush teeth, get dressed (while mom is screaming at you "THE BUS IS COMING AND YOU'RE STILL IN YOUR UNDERWEAR!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" Ahhh- I feel better now).

I've been taking a photo editing class online and I'm really enjoying it. I'm learning a lot, although I think I may be going a bit too far and tweaking the pics excessively. I'll have to post some and get opinions. The picture above is from the back fence after the snow/ice storm last week. It's a good thing I got this when I did - a few minutes later the kids noticed the icicles and said "Lunch!" You see, they LOOOOVE to eat snow and ice. I figure why fight it, especially if it doesn't come from directly on the ground, the car, or the garbage dumpster. Last year we also got the "yellow snow" lesson when the neighbor's dog came out, so I feel fairly confident they'll avoid that. Next week I'm starting a 4-week basic digital photography course at City Arts. Maybe this summer I can take the advanced one. I also ordered a zoom lens for my birthday. I can't wait for it to get here. Every day I check the mailbox with baited breath. (Stupid ebay merchants who don't email you and let you know when they shipped it!!) That will be great fun, especially for soccer games.

Hmmm...that's all I want to say today. I need to do the next lesson in my photo editing class before going shopping with my sister for clothes for the kids' pictures. Three kids, one toddler, and two infants in one picture. Yeah. That will be an adventure. I think it's a really good thing that I don't drink. Otherwise, I'd have a problem.

little flirt

little flirt
Originally uploaded by jen_lancaster

Ramblings

How's that for a title? I almost just titled it "February 18". Creative, huh? It's been a busy week. The screen died on our laptop, so we've been transferring files and programs to a different computer. It's been going fairly smoothly, except for my Photoshop Elements catalog, which took me one evening (until 1:00 a.m.) and most of the following day to figure out. I'm not sure I did it right, but it's done. I've also been getting my "ducks in a row" to possibly start subbing at a preschool. I figure it will be a good part-tine job that will let continue to be involved in the kids' school, too. I've had to round up references (a little tricky, considering most of the directors/administrators I've worked under have either retired or moved out-of-state), get a tuberculosis test, fill out an application, and take a childhood illnesses/abuse recognition class (done last night) and a first aid/CPR class (will be done on Saturday). I've also had my first cold of the season, which is good (good that it's the first), but it has been holding on FOREVER!! I'm ready to be done with coughing. I am constantly amazed at the amount of mucus one human body can produce.
Anyway, I've discovered an absolute gem of a website for those of you who use Photoshop or Elements. She has *FREE* actions that are awesome! If you use Elements, you know actions for that program are fairly rare. I'm trying to upload a series of edits to show you, but my computer/internet is being retarded right now and not cooperating. I'll keep trying.
As I wait for the upload, I'll tell you that A is reading! Just small, short-vowel words, but she's sounding them out. She read a lot of Hop On Pop by herself yesterday. A couple weeks ago she had a dental appointment. They usually go well, but this one was pretty cute. When they went to take her x-rays, they got the front one just fine. When they tried to do the back one a look of terror came acrosee her face. She then told the hygenist about how she had choked on a carrot (over 1 year ago) and had to have x-rays. The hygenist showed her the x-rays they took when she was 4 to show her she'd had it done before and had been fine. When she heard that, A asked, "Was I brave when I was 4?" How cute is that? Anyway, the rear x-rays were a no go. Maybe in August. The craziest part of this is the carrot incident didn't faze her when it comes to horsing around at the table, which was the cause of the whole ordeal.

Ok - the upload is (finally) finished. The first picture is the original. It was extremely underexposed.













Here I made several screen layers to lighten the image.














Then I took the image and ran several of the coffeeshop actions.




























































































I have no idea why it put a square on her head.