Monday Menu (on Tuesday...)

Yes, it's hard to believe it's time for another installment on Menu Monday. And, of course, it's posted on Tuesday. This was because I actually didn't have my menus planned until today. Barring any changes, the next week will consist of:
Monday - BBQ pork sandwiches, tater tots, baby carrots (Audrey hated it)
Tuesday - tacos (Audrey hates them)
Wednesday - spaghetti (Audrey *usually* likes it - SHOCKER!!)
Thursday - grilled chicken breasts (grilled a while back and stored in the freezer), baked potatoes, and salad (Audrey will hate it)
Friday - creamed chicken, salad (Audrey will probably hate it) - this was supposed to be on the menu last week, but things got shuffled around.

On to life at our house - this whole past week has been a blur. Last week I was desperately trying to finish my 100 page scrapbook of our Hawaii trip. Winkflash was having a sale (that ends today) on their 10x8 books - 100 pages for $19.95. Considering that would usually be a $59 book, we decided I should take advantage of it. Of course, I'm too obsessive-compulsive to use unedited pictures, and I didn't regularly edit them 4 years ago, so I had a lot of work cut out for me. I did it, though!

Nathan started his vision therapy yesterday. Our insurance won't cover in-office therapy, so we're doing it at home with a computer program. It's not hard, it's just setting aside 20 minutes every day for it (along with homework, his reading proficiency paper, spelling words, and guitar practice). Well, it's time to go make the tacos. Bye!

The one where I introduce a new feature...

Well, I have succumbed again to the agonizing condition known as "blogger's block". Well, maybe it's not really known as that and I just made it up...anyway, it is real and I have it. So, as I've been lurking around other people's blogs I've noticed a couple of regular features. One is Favorite Friday, the other is Menu Monday. Seeing that I have a serious deficiency of originality, I've decided to try the Menu Monday. Of course, it is aptly fitting with the chaos in my life that I begin this feature on a Tuesday...

Monday - Cajun Stroganoff with salad (which ended up, due to time constraints, being green beans instead) - Audrey hated it
Tuesday - Chicken Parmesan, Rice, Salad - Dwayne and Audrey will hate it, possibly Nathan as well
Wednesday - Baked Tilapia with adobo seasoning, mac and cheese, green beans - Audrey will hate it
Thursday - BBQ Pork Sandwiches, tater tots, carrot sticks - Audrey will hate it, Nathan might
Friday - Creamed chicken over rice and salad - Audrey will probably hate it

I'm sure you can see the pattern. I love my children, but it gives me immense satisfaction that, after 6 years, someone ELSE gets to deal with my daughter for at least 1 meal a day.


On a totally random and unrelated note - I'm feeling relieved this afternoon. Nathan had an eye appointment today. It turns out he has convergence insufficiency, which is a tracking disorder. Now, usually finding out something is wrong with your child is not relieving, however I was worried that we wouldn't find any answers for some of the problems he's been having, so this is a good thing. (Was that a run-on sentence?) We're looking at eye therapy, but we may be able to avoid the nice and pricey dyslexia testing if this starts to help him. We're just waiting on insurance to let us know what they will and will not cover.

Well, that's all folks. Well, not really, but you don't really need to read all about the guitar lessons, gymnastics class, Awana, football, worship team, PTO, birthday, moving my grandmother to a retirement center, putting up a basketball goal, my kitchen is a total wreck schedule. I should probably go start the dishwasher so I have dishes for dinner...

The one where I need your help...

Well, I officially need your help. I am going to enter the East Wichita News annual photography contest, and I need help deciding which photos to enter. There are 4 categories. I'll go in the order that the pictures are in this post, since they are pain in the rear to move around.
The first category we come to is Landscape/Seascape. I actually have already decided which one I'm going to submit. This is my favorite picture. What I feel is my best work (haha! "work"! don't I sound important!) I could use some help coming up with a title for this one, though.





The second category is Animal Kingdom. Our contestants are:
#1 - Brothers
#2 - The Kiss


The third category is Celebrate Wichita. I really don't have much for this category. Actually, it's just the same picture edited 2 different ways.

#1 - Old Town (color)

#2 - Old Town (B & W)

The final category is Human Interest. This is the hard one. My possibilities include:

#1 - Rylee
#2 - The Path
#3 - Logan
#4 - Audrey
#5 Nathan (I have to admit - he is slightly out of focus. But I still love this shot)
#6 - Fishing with Papa
#7 - Feeding Frenzy
#8 - Surfin'
#9 - The Runner (again, my subject is slightly out of focus, but I like this one, too)
#10 - Fishing #1 (I'm thinking I should even out that horizon...)
#11 - Fishing #2
#12 - Papa's Hands
#13 - Batter Up!
#14 - Summer Splash
#15 - Preston (of course, this entry would be dependent on his parents allowing me to submit a picture of their son...)

I would do a poll, but I don't think I could do such a convoluted thing, so please leave me a comment and let me know what you think.

Thanks!

The one where I should have gone to bed...

The Kiss
Originally uploaded by jen_lancaster

Well, I'm resorting to an old standby when I don't know what to post - I post a picture from my Flickr account. I took this picture at the zoo earlier this month. I'll probably be posting more pictures in a few days. I'm planning on entering the East Wichita News Photography Contest. I need feedback on which pictures to choose. Well, I know at least one of the pictures I'm going to contribute, but I need some help selecting the others. I also need to post pictures of our vacation, and of Audrey's first day of kindergarten.

I feel like I am really struggling with worry right now. I am co-president of the PTO this year and am starting to freak out a little bit that under my co-leadership things will implode into a chaotic and strife-filled mess. No, I don't tend to over-dramatize, why do you ask? N is seriously hating school and has been in a little trouble this week, and I am worried about him and some concerns I have with his academics. I have been having pains in my knuckles and my doctor says I have the beginnings of Heberden's nodes, which is a sign of arthritis. I am wanting to find a Bible study to join and am unsure where to go. I have tried some community-wide ones in the past and have found them to be lacking the personal connection I'd like to find. There are a couple of churches I can try, but I always feel awkward coming in as an outsider. I feel like an intruder. Add some possibly painful decisions that D and I are trying to make regarding some of our involvements, the near-beginning of World War III at the kids' showers tonight, and a healthy (or, more accurately, un-healthy) dose of spiritual apathy on my part and you have a recipe for stress. And worry. And a pointlessly rambling blog entry being made well after I should have gone to bed. I debate whether I should post this or delete it and wonder if being transparent is all that bad. I know I don't do it often enough - not even with myself. Maybe I just feel like I need a little prayer. So I will post this and probably regret it, even though I just discovered how to delete a blog entry after it has been posted (I've been trying to figure out how to do that for some time now...). Maybe I'll leave it, or maybe I'll chicken out tomorrow and delete it.

For now, I'm just going to bed.

The one where I laugh my rear off...(part III)

Sorry for the technical difficulties of the previous post. It published the post with the font the same color as my background. Did you know I have been unable to find a way to delete a blog post? Anyhoo, here's another try...

This is from this site.

AND HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED WHEN HE RECEIVED AN EMAIL FROM HIS GYM....

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From:Jeff Peters
Date: Wednesday 8 April 2009 10.22am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Membership Renewal

Dear David

This is a friendly reminder to let you know your gym membership expired last week. Your membership is important to us and we would like to take this opportunity to show our appreciation by offering you a 20% discount on your membership renewal. We look forward to seeing you again soon.

All the best, Jeff Peters

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From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 April 2009 1.37pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Membership Renewal

Dear Jeff,

Thankyou for your friendly reminder and the kind offer to reduce my membership by twenty percent. I own a calculator but I could not work out how to do percentages on it so have estimated that I save around $372.10 off the normal price of $420.00 - Please confirm that this is correct and I will renew my membership immediately.

Also, do I get a Fitness First sports bag with towel and drinking bottle included in the price? I own my own legwarmers and headband.

Regards, David.

---

From: Jeff Peters
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 10.01am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Hello David

How did you come to that amount? Our half year membership fees are actually $460 but with the 20% discount as an existing member your renewing membership fee would be only $368 for the six months saving you almost $100 off the normal price. We are not Fitness First so do not have those bags.

Cheers, Jeff

---

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 10.18am
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Dear Jeff

Do I get free shipping with that?

Regards, David.

---

From: Jeff Peters
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 12.48pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Free shipping with what? The $368 covers your membership fees for six months.

---

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 2.26pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Dear Jeff

By the power of Greyskull that is a lot of money but I admit to being in desperate need of increasing my body strength. My ten year old child often turns the taps off in the bathroom very tightly and I have to go several days without washing.

I feel bad constantly having to ask the lady from next door to come over and loosen them for me, what with her arthritis and limited wheelchair access to my apartment. To be honest, I originally joined your gym with full intentions of attending every few days but after waiting in vain for someone to offer me steroids, I began to suspect this was not going to happen and the realisation that I may have to exercise instead was, quite frankly, horrifying.

My aversion to work, along with the fact one of your employees, Justin, was rather rude, telling me to 'lift this', ''push that' dulled my initial enthusiasm of becoming muscular and I stopped attending.

Regards, David.

---

From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 9.17am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Hello David

Not sure how to take your email, nobody here would offer you steroids, it is illegal and none of our staff would do this. Justin is one of our most experienced trainers and if you found him rude while he was trying to be helpful and just doing his job then there are plenty of other gyms you could look at joining instead.

Cheers, Jeff

---

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 10.02am
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Dear Jeff

Yes, I have noticed that there are many gyms in my area. I assume the low qualification requirements of fitness trainers means that there is an over supply of these buffed but essentially otherwise purposeless professionals.

I knew a guy in high school who couldn't talk very well and collected sticks, he used to call the teacher 'mum' and during recess we would give him money to dance. Then sell him sticks to get our money back.

He went on to become a fitness instructor so I view gyms as kind of like those factories that provide a community service by employing people with down syndrome to lick stamps and pack boxes. Except with more Spandex obviously.

Regards, David.

---

From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 10.32am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Go f$*k yourself.

---

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 11.38am
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Dear Jeff

I was, at first, quite surprised at your response; one minute you are inviting me to renew my membership and asking me for money, the next insulting me. After doing a little research however, I have learnt that mood swings are an expected side effect of steroid abuse.

As another side effect is a reduction in the size of your p#$%, this gives you understandable cause to be an angry person. I have also learnt that Spandex contains carcinogenic properties so this does not bode well for yourself and your shiny friends.

If I woke up one morning and my p#$% was a quarter of the size I would probably take my anger out on those around me as well.

There are probably support groups or websites that could help you manage your problem more effectively and picture based books available on the subject for people with limited reading skills. When I am angry I like to Listen to music by Linkin Park. The added angst and desire to cut myself works similarly to the way firefighters fight forest fires by burning off sections, effectively canceling each other out and I find myself at peace.

I understand that you guys usually listen to Pet Shop Boys or Frankie Goes to Hollywood so this may be worth a try.

Regards, David.

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From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.04pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

DO NOT EMAIL ME AGAIN

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From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.15pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Ok.

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From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.25pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

Is that you being a smartarse or agreeing not to email me again?

---

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.32pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due

The middle one.

The one where I laugh my rear off...(part III)

The one where I laugh my rear off...(part II)

This is posted from http://emailsfromcrazypeople.com/.

From the same school of thought that brought us the “Seven Legged Spider”, I now present the latest in circular crazy logic. The goal here is to convince the antagonist, in this case the landlord, that you are so crazy as to not be worth their time. And it all began with this seemingly benign letter…

…which then led to this hilarious email exchange:

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 10.16am
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

Thankyou for your letter concerning pets in my apartment. I understand that having dogs in the apartment is a violation of the agreement due to the comfort and wellbeing of my neighbours and I am currently soundproofing my apartment with egg cartons as I realise my dogs can cause quite a bit of noise. Especially during feeding time when I release live rabbits.

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Pets in the building

Hello David

I have received your email and wish to remind you that the strata agreement states that no animals are allowed in the building regardless of if your apartment is soundproof. How many dogs do you have at the premises?

Helen

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 1.52pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

Currently I only have eight dogs but one is expecting puppies and I am very excited by this. I am hoping for a litter of at least ten as this is the number required to participate in dog sled racing. I have read every Jack London novel in preparation and have constructed my own sled from timber I borrowed from the construction site across the road during the night. I have devised a plan which I feel will ensure me taking first place in the next national dog sled championships. For the first year of the puppies life I intend to say the word mush then chase them violently around the apartment while yelling and hitting saucepan lids together. I have estimated that the soundproofing of my apartment should block out at least sixty percent of the noise and the dogs will learn to associate the word mush with great fear so when I yell it on race day, the panic and released adrenaline will spur them on to being winners. I am so confident of this being a foolproof plan that I intend to sell all my furniture the day before the race and bet the proceeds on coming first place.

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 9.43am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

David, I am unsure what to make of your email. Do you have pets in the apartment or not?

Helen

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 11.27am
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

No. I have a goldfish but due to the air conditioner in my apartment being stuck on a constant two degrees celcius, the water in its bowl is iced over and he has not moved for a while so I do not think he is capable of disturbing the neighbours. The ducks in the bathroom are not mine. The noise which my neighbours possibly mistook for a dog in the apartment is just the looping tape I have of dogs barking which I play at high volume while I am at work to deter potential burglars from breaking in and stealing my tupperware. I need it to keep food fresh. Once I ate leftover chinese that had been kept in an unsealed container and I experienced complete awareness. The next night I tried eating it again but only experienced chest pains and diarrhoea.

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 1.46pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Hello David

You cannot play sounds of dogs or any noise at a volume that disturbs others. I am sure you can appreciate that these rules are for the benefit of all residents of the building. Fish are fine. You cannot have ducks in the apartment though. If it was small birds that would be ok.

Helen

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 2.18pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

They are very small ducks.

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 4.06pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

David, under section 4 of the strata residency agreement it states that you cannot have pets. You agreed to these rules when you signed the forms. These rules are set out to benefit everyone in the building including yourself. Do you have a telephone number I can call you on to discuss?

Helen

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 5.02pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

The ducks will no doubt be flying south for the winter soon so it will not be an issue. It is probably for the best as they are not getting along very well with my seventeen cats anyway. .

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Monday 25 May 2009 9.22am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

David, I am just going to write on the forms that we have investigated and you do not have any pets.

Helen